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Golf is a game of integrity and when it is played correctly it’s much more fun. I went golfing this past weekend and I learned a few VERY valuable tips while being on the course and they ALL relate to course etiquette. This game is a gentleman’s game and it should stay that way. Here are some tips on what and what not to do on the course.

1. First and most important rule. NO TALKING suring someone’s pre-shot routine and swing. The most annoying thing is when you are trying to concentrate on not duffing the ball and putting a ball out on the fairway somewhere. There are already a million things going through your mind during your routine. We don’t need someone giving a soliloquy about how you fell off the toilet.

2. Keep pace. I know we are all amateurs and we occassionally (ok, most of the time) shank a ball into the woods or water. Take a quick gander around the area where the ball landed and if you cant find it in 2 minutes, drop a ball and hit it. Or it would help if the person that hit the best shot, help out in finding the ball before going to his/her ball.

3. Never walk across someone’s lie on the putting surface. Before galavanting onto the green and lining up your putt, take a quick look at who’s where and make sure you don’t walk across someone’s line. Footprints on the green actually affect some putts. We are mostly terrible putters anyway, so please don’t help the cause.

4. Don’t take a mulligan on every bad drive you hit. Golf is a game of integrity. And if you honestly want to learn how to play, take EVERY stroke. Don’t shave strokes off your game just cause it saves face. No one really cares how you shoot. Hitting one into the woods is embarassing, but taking a mulligan and doing it again makes it that much MORE embarassing.

5. Leave the cell phone on vibrate. This is corollary to rule number 1. You are out with your friends and you are playing golf not conducting business on the golf course. So shut that phone up and put it away for 5 hours. This is quality time with your buddies.

In other news, The head of Hooters Inc. has died. Apparently a healthy helping of wings and breasts (literally and figurateively) is hazardous to your health!