pmoa.net

It’s Wednesday and what better way to kick off hump day with another feature article from Jim Smith. He just recently realized that electricity and gas are all quite expensive. Here is a rant about something that we can ALL relate to. Especially you Syracuse alums.

God, it’s hot as balls out. I’m up here in NY’s armpit, and it’s like a billion. I can’t imagine how hot it is south of the Mason-Dixon. But, guess what, I can’t turn on my freaking air conditioner because my electric bill is literally 300 dollars a month. 300 dollars! It’s not like I’m running ten kidney dialysis machines or something. Who sets the price of power anyway?

Now, I have a couple of degrees from colleges and stuff, but what is power measured in? A joule? An amp? A kilowatt? What am I paying for? I mean, I have to leave my computer on all the time so I can steal tons of music and talk to little boys on Instant Messenger, but that shouldn’t cost more than like 50 cents a month. Plus, my nite-light has to stay on cause the dark scares me, and I have a spare refrigerator for my bacon, but that can’t be too expensive.

And what is going on with gas prices? I drive a Ford Expensive, and I get like 4 miles per gallon, but that’s no excuse to screw me on the price of gas, too. Gas and electricity, crap we need to survive, absorbs all of my driving range paycheck.

I’m going Amish. Look at the advantages: fresh butter, cool ZZ-Top beards, and no gas or electric bills. Hmm, but no PS2, no Saved by the Bell DVD’s, and no sex with any attractive women ever again. Have you ever seen an Amish chick in Playboy? Plus, the only thing Pennsylvania has going for it is the cheese steak. Ah, forget it, its Syracuse; I don’t know why I’m complaining about the heat. It’s going to be snowing in a week anyway.