So the feature writer has had some life events happen to him and he couldn’t produce an article for us last week. But it has been highly anticipated this week so I put it out 2 days early…
Television - by Jim
Ok, so I’ve had this column for a week and I’m already behind. Sorry folks, but I was worried Vinnie Chase wasn’t going to get Aquaman, so now that my world is back in order, I can write.
Which reminds me, what is with this fixation people have on television shows? Why is it people are so worried about what’s going to happen to Ross, or Elaine, or Mr. Kotter that they forget about their own lives? Garry Shandling isn’t going to pay your water bill. McGuyver isn’t going to mow your lawn. (But I did watch him C-section a baby out with an old lotto ticket and some maracas!)
I would have to blame parents, because I always have to blame someone, and by parents never really bought me enough candy. Rather than emphasizing the importance of making friends when children are young, too many parents plop their kids in front of ‘the babysitter’ and concentrate on their own lives. Thus, kids develop relationships with that gay Teletubby, or Mr. Wizard, maybe even Bob Ross.
So, I put it to all three of you that have read this far in the article: go make a new friend. Talk to the smelly lady on the subway and go play catch or something. Go to a movie with that foreign guy that hangs out where you get your gelatto. I dunno, I’m not your psychologist. Just quit talking to yourself. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Hogan Knows Best is on…
